“Mystery of the Dead Rat”

Remember those childhood days where a high school bully instigated two people against each other to sit back and enjoy the action. This spark would more often than not lead to a wild fight between two students adding to the bully’s charm. And while the two gladiators fought it out in this mini Colosseum of sorts, the entire classroom hooted and howled like the Roman Plebians in awe of this harmful spectacle organised by the king. Now as you reminisce those peevish moments of days long gone, let me remind you that you continue to be Pleb, but on more sophisticated issues. Ironically, this is precisely how the Indian news channels treat you.  

The so called debates between eminent spokespersons are simply battles sparked by the news anchor’s comments and allegations. The slanderous remarks by the politicians in the heat of elections sell like “hot cakes” on television, not because they coincide with a party’s political ideology (as most often they don’t) but because they have room for counter-allegations sparking a battle of words, much to the delight of the news channel which is as hungry as a hippo for a high TRP. This is how it works… 

Anchor: “I heard Mr Pussycat, there was a rat found dead in your house… Who killed it?” 

Pussycat: “I don’t know….” 

Anchor: “What do you mean you don’t know??? In broad daylight a rat is found dead in your house and you say you don’t know how it got there and who killed it…” 

Pussycat: “Well I didn’t kill the rat…” 

Anchor: “In your house, where only you stay, who else could have killed that rat??? I want you to confess on national television that it was you…” 

Pussycat: “But….” 

Anchor: “If you didn’t kill the rat when only you were there at home then who did??? I want an answer Mr Pussycat… Tell our viewers for the first time on national television about how the rat died…” 

Pussycat: “I think…” 

Anchor: “Don’t THINK and make up answers Mr Pussycat… We want facts…” 

Pussycat “I feel…” 

Anchor: “Oh!!! It’s time for a break… Stay tuned to see if what Pussycat feels now is guilt… We’ll be right back” 

 

Anchor (after the break): “So Mr Pussycat… Do you now FEEL guilty?” 

Pussycat: “No way!!! It may have been the eagle I saw flying over my house.. Who knows??” 

Anchor: “We have a brand new revelation on the mystery of the dead rat… An eagle seems to have dropped it… We have the Eagle with us today… So tell us Mr Eagle… Why did you kill the rat?” 

Eagle: “I didn’t kill it…” 

Anchor: “If you didn’t kill it, what were you doing flying above the cats house that afternoon???” 

Eagle: “Well, I fly randomly over a lot of houses each day” 

Anchor: “Exactly my point… Why were you caught flying above that house specifically?? Tell us Mr Eagle, for the first time on national television, what were you doing there??” 

Eagle: “I was only enjoying the view…” 

Anchor: “Oh!!! It’s time for another break… Wait and watch what the Eagle VIEWED and ENJOYED so much” 

  

Anchor (after the break): So Mr Eagle, did you see the Pussycat killing the rat??? 

Eagle: “No… But I saw the Pussycat looking at the dead rat with greedy eyes” 

Pussycat: “How could you see my eyes when I was looking down at the rat?” 

Eagle: “Because you looked up once” 

Pussycat: “If you saw that then why didn’t you file an FIR?? Why were you silent till now??” 

Eagle: “I was too busy that day..” 

Pussycat: “If you were so busy… why were you out enjoying the view??” 

Eagle: “I was on my way to work…” 

Pussycat: “you were going for work in the afternoon on a day you were supposedly busy…. That’s unlikely isn’t it?? I’m sure Eagle is lying” 

Eagle: “I was just going from one office to another… But may I ask you what were you doing at home in the afternoon??? Because you too leave for work early in the morning every single day… Why didn’t you go that particular day only??” 

Pussycat: “Well it’s my life and my house… when I go for work and what I do at home in none of your or anyone else’s business…” 

Eagle: “A rat has been murdered at your house and you say it’s not our business… you killed it didn’t you???”  

Pussycat: “No… You did!!!” 

Eagle: “It was you!!!” 

Anchor: “Oh..!!! I’m extremely sorry that we’ll have to end the debate right here… We are short on time, thank you so much Mr Pussycat and Mr Eagle… It is always nice to have you’ll over on our show…” 

By the end of the coverage, the viewer is as perplexed as a little kid after being brainwashed by mom and dad having totally different points of view. He’s heard convincing arguments from two experts and it’s impossible for him to even take a stand. The only winner here is the news channel which we can call the king who’s hungry for the credit. What we forget is that with kingship comes great responsibility. The fate of a kingdom lies in the hands of the king. No other person can every have such a significant control on what the people are made to think. 

News media is arguably strongest pillar of a democracy. And for a democracy to be successful, the media not only needs to place its findings in front of the people, it also needs to assure that they get their story right and without any bias or distortion. Using debate forums for publicity is like being penny smart and pound foolish. Unfortunately, this comes in conflict with their agenda of getting higher ratings and subsequently higher ad revenues. If not for yourself, do it for the greater good… “But please grow up…”